Rochester police log
I really wish I could make this up. I want to meet the person who writes these. I heard him on the Radio once. He is my hero.
ROCHESTER — The following items are based on 702 entries on the Rochester Police Log from Sept. 26 to 30:
Thursday, Sept. 26
3:41 a.m. — A deer becomes venison on Exit 13 of the turnpike.
6:41 p.m. — Ten people fight on Ela Court. One is a batman.
11:39 p.m. — The day closes as it opens, with a deer-to-venison conversion on Farmington Road.
Friday, Sept. 27
7:25 a.m. — High school band students, collecting money yesterday, may have been stuck with a dud bill.
9:41 a.m. — A River Street resident let a homeless couple into his home last night. The pregnant lady started drinking, so he asked them to leave. They stole an Xbox.
4:04 p.m. — A fight brews on Warren Street. “People are yelling about drugs and pregnant people.”
Saturday, Sept. 28
9:35 a.m. — On Portland Street a woman paid a man to do some plumbing, but rather rash, advanced him cash. The plumbing? He ain’t coming.
11:24 a.m. — Near the courthouse an octet chases one kid. One pursuer has a baseball bat.
7:06 p.m. — On the Common two men sit beneath a tree where it’s unlit. Do they crochet? Do they knit? No, they chug beers before they split.
8:57 p.m. — On Pine Street a man says a young woman was staying with him, but left. His wallet with $480 in it seems to have left, too.
9:06 p.m. — A big drinking party apparently rages on River Street.
Sunday, Sept. 29
12:53 p.m. — On Knight Street two folks argue for reasons yet unknown, the incident is moving though, for suitcases are thrown.
11:55 p.m. — A Congress Street drum thumper is keeping people awake.
Monday, Sept. 30
1:05 a.m. — A bleeding man tries to climb in a River Street window, while hollering, “Mary, Mary, I don’t know where I am.” He is conveyed to Frisbie.
4:49 p.m. — A kindly officer places a board inside a dumpster to allow a raccoon to get out.
8:56 p.m. — A blue bike has been abandoned in a Cross Road ditch for two weeks. No wonder it’s blue.