We are Doomed

I found this on Huffington Post but it really did make me think. Are we doomed?

We have so many opportunities in life to do great things- YET we continue to do dumb shit. (Like start a blog which very few people read). The proof that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that they have avoided us!

Please someone – Post something to give me hope.

You used to be happy. After reading these depressing facts, that probably won’t be the case.
1. Taylor Swift has more Twitter followers than the entire population of Canada.

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And she’s actually not alone! Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Lady GaGa, and Barack Obama also have more Twitter followers than the population of Canada – which is totals around 35 million people. [H/T=@mariasherm]

Doesn’t this make you want to follow me? @tretrosi It would be AMAZING to be a normal guy and have more twitter followers than them. We should start a campaign. FOLLOW TONY! @tretrosi
2. There are more Juggalos than there are Polar Bears in the world.

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According to the World Wildlife Foundation, there are somewhere between 20-25k polar bears. While it is a bit tricky to pin down the exact total of the Juggalo population, over 1.1 million people like Insane Clown Posse on Facebook and over 20k Juggalos regularly attend the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, an event that itself serves as a reason to question our existence. Hmmmm. Maybe Juggalos cause Global Warming. 

3. Guy Fieri has the same number of New York Times bestsellers as Kurt Vonnegut.

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Celebrity chef and occasional street fighter Guy Fieri has published three books with the first two, “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives: An All-American Road Trip…with Recipes!” and “More Diners, Drive-ins and Dives: Another Drop-Top Culinary Cruise Through America’s Finest and Funkiest” being bestsellers for more than 12 weeks. Vonnegut had only two New York Times Bestsellers, “Breakfast of Champions” and “Jailbird.”
4. The engagement rock Kanye West gave Kim Kardashian cost an estimated $8 million — which is also the total net worth of successful actress Emma Stone.

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This ring is worth more money than almost all of us have to our names, but it’s also ridiculously out of budget for other celebrities. Due to the size and rarity of the cut-shape for this diamond, it has been estimated to have set Kanye back around $8 million. Emma Stone is coincidentally also worth $8 million.
5. Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger would owe us around 10 billion nickels if we forced him to refund the 50 million albums his band has sold by personally giving our nickels back .

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Assuming the albums cost around $10 a pop, Kroeger would still have to return so many nickels. These are rough numbers but that shouldn’t keep us from chanting, “Give the nickels back, Chad Kroeger!” As a side note, the band allegedly got their name from Kroeger’s job as a Starbucks cashier, where he’d frequently have to give nickels back to customers.
6. The Backstreet Boys have a cruise, but N’SYNC doesn’t.

To celebrate their 20th anniversary as a band, The Backstreet Boys hosted a cruiselast month from October 25-28. A.J. stripped and then Kevin spanked him in the ass. Alternately, this fact proves life is worth it.
7. Michael Bay has a $150 million budget to remake Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with CGI turtles. That’s more than the entire GDP of a number of nations.

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Tuvalu is a Polynesian island nation located between Hawaii and Australia. The United Nations has estimated their GDP to be around $37 million, about a fourth of the budget Michael Bay has received to make TMNT. Nauru, an island country in the South Pacific, has a U.N.-estimated GDP of $72 million.
8. “Two And A Half Men” has had the same number of seasons as “Arrested Development,” “Veronica Mars,” “Party Down,” “Freaks And Geeks,” and “Firefly” combined.

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“Two And A Half Men” is on its 11th season, while “Arrested Development” only made it four, “Veronica Mars” went three, “Party Down” lasted for two, and “Freaks And Geeks” and “Firefly” each only had one.
But the most depressing fact of them all.
9. Justin Bieber gets to go to space and you don’t.

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Justin Bieber has a spot on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic spaceship, along with celebrities such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Ashton Kutcher. He allegedly paid $250k for the spot, but that’s only a fraction of his estimated $130 million net worth.

 

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About tretrosi2013

Gymnastics Coach, Gymnastics Educator, Part time stand up comic.
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One Response to We are Doomed

  1. denise says:

    #8 every one of those shows suck so who cares?
    #7 at least teen aged mutant ninjas was written by a guy from Dover NH and first starring gymnast Casso.
    There is MUCH to give you hope…just not in politics or the entertainment world.

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