Have you listened to a song a millions times but all of a sudden really heard it?

I am sitting at the island in the kitchen writing an article. My earbuds in listening to what ever iTunes brings me. My wife is in the other room working on taxes. Her work spread out in front of her. Landslide by the Smashing Pumpkins (originally by Fleetwood Mac/ Stevie Nicks) comes on. And all of a sudden I really heard it.

I took my love, and I took it down
I climbed a mountain, and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mm mm I don’t know, no uh uh I don’t know

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
And I’m getting older too, oh yes
I’m getting older too
So . . .

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older, oh yes
And I’m getting older too

So, take this love, take it down
Oh if you climb a mountain, and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down, down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe the landslide will bring it down
Well well the landslide will bring it down

I think this song is beautiful because it can be interpreted in so many ways…part of the genius behind it. What it means to me, I’m sure, Nicks did not intend, because when she wrote it, she was nowhere near where I am at this point of my life. But this song never hit me before like it does now. I’ve always liked it…first heard it when I was in my teens. But now, it resonates to my core. I look up from my writing and just smile. I just fell in love with my wife all over again. She really brings magic to our life

I am staring at 50 years old. Our oldest child landed a few hours ago for a semester abroad in New Zealand. Our Youngest just decided on his college plans. Life seems to be moving so damn fast. Like a landslide.
The years are slipping by quickly. While we have both worked full time their entire lives we both were able to adjust our schedules to allow us to be available to them probably more than THEY wanted but certainly whenever they needed us. So, we have built our lives around them and each other. Forgoing possibly more lucrative opportunities that would have imposed distance and hours that would not allow us to be available.

To me, The Landslide is time. Time moving very fast; making many changes in its wake. Can I handle those changes…the new seasons of my life that will come after they move on with their lives…I don’t know. I am going to miss them so much when that happens… I really don’t know if I can handle that.

I climbed a mountain and I turned around.” Life is a journey. There is only one inevitable destination. We all come in to this world the same. We all leave the same. It is what we do between our first and last breath that makes a difference. My goal has always been just to make a difference. Any time I spent reflecting on my past…I see the times with my family and my extended family of gymnasts who I have worked with. I see their reflections in the snow covered hills. I have lived in an area that gets snow my entire life. Snow coats everything and gives things a new beautiful start. I think the snow covered hills refers to the difference we made on this world. Our mark that we were really here. When I turn around and see my reflection- it shows that I was here and made a difference.

And the last part for me means that I’m telling my children to take my love with them on their journey to the future, and if they see my reflection in the snow covered hills when they turn around and reflect on their past…they don’t need to let anything I’ve done that could slow them down or cause them to doubt themselves to get in the way because in time…The Landslide (time) will make all those mistakes irrelevant. The Landslide of time takes care of all those issues. In time, they will be their own persons no matter what I’ve done, good bad or otherwise. But the love remains. They’ve taken that with them.

And OF COURSE “mirror in the sky” is God, or whatever higher power you believe in. Nicks refers to it as a “mirror” because it is during/through prayer/introspection/meditation that we often take the time to look at ourselves and evaluate who we are and where we’re going. For me, “Oh mirror in the sky…what is love?” means do we demonstrate love more by holding on tight to those we love or by letting go…letting them take their own journeys and sending our love with them? How do we best demonstrate our love? I think the song answers that question.


About tretrosi2013

Gymnastics Coach, Gymnastics Educator, Part time stand up comic.
This entry was posted in growth, life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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