My daughter will be turning 21 soon. Here are some words of advice.
Ain’t no party like a mom and dad party. 👪
A night out with mom and dad is pretty much the definition of squad goals. Think about it for a second. We’ll probably pay for everything, we’re easily the two best humans you know, and we’ll definitely keep your drunk self out of trouble. Oh and let’s be real here, we can probably drink you under the table.
1 The only person you love more than your mother is your drunk mother.
2 Family bonding reaches a whole new level of fun when there are cocktails present.
3 You’ll get to see a side of your parents that you rarely get to witness.
4 And since we’re family we know you best, obviously we’re the most compatible drinking buddies out there.
5 Mom and dad sure know how to dance!.
6 And we can probably drink you under the table.
7 Because we have your best interests at heart, we probably won’t let you get reckless.
8 Or embarrass yourself.
9 If anyone flirts with you at the bar, they’ll first need your parents’ seal of approval before any regretful moves are made.
10 And just because we’re responsible doesn’t mean they can’t party hardy.
11 You probably won’t hook up with some gross human at the bar with us right there.
12 What better way to find love in a hopeless place, right?
13 We will probably pay for drinks.
14 And bar cover charges.
15 And midnight snacks.
16 Not to mention our company is absolutely priceless.
17 We’ll always have your best, drunken interest at heart.
18 We won’t let you drunk text your ex.
19 You won’t have to endure any walk of shame the following morning with us keeping you in check (and in your own bed).
20 If you do have too much to drink and crash at our house you’ll probably wake up to a balanced breakfast courtesy of chef mom and dad.
21 And, most importantly, a night out with the ‘rents is a great reminder that your family is the coolest. And also that your parents got you way too drunk. And that you need a nap. Like right now.