On Thursday, the people of the U.K. voted to break away from the European Union. The referendum “Brexit,” or Britain’s exit, threw the world’s financial markets into a frenzy and created more questions about the future of the region.
America, it’s time to talk about another exit, one right at our doorstep. I’m speaking, of course, about Donald Trump exiting the U.S. permanently. Yes. I’m talking about …
Fellow concerned citizens, for our own well-being, let’s enact “Trexit,” and democratically Febreeze the smell of tanner and toupee out of America’s couch cushions for good.
Now, in the beginning, we may see some side effects. For instance, the national buffoon index will take a sharp dive.
Who in the public eye will we make fun of on a daily basis? Who will be our litmus test for identifying friends who should be driven out into the middle of nowhere and left for dead?
This confusion is to be expected and, if I’ve learned anything from working in this business, the market will adjust and new buffoons will spring up.
A second side affect from “Trexit” will be the influx of immigration to the United States, and the rise in diversity of our local cultures. *GASP*
Once they see that Donald Trump has exited the United States, humans from all over the world will flock here, no longer concerned with the extreme anti-immigration views held by him and his supporters.
Just look at the way that certain demographics who already live here view Trump:
So, given these diamond-hard and indisputable facts, it’s clear that we should embrace “Trexit.” Let’s cleanse our collective palate of this walking, talking Orange Julius nightmare.