It seems like yesterday I moved into my first Dorm at UNH. Jill was across the hall and Catherine was next-door, Christine was down the hall a bit. I was the only guy in that wing of the dorm that first semester. The first thing the women that lived in that wing did was take down the sign that said “Women’s” bathroom and put up “Co-ed”. MUCH APPRECIATED!
Today we became empty nesters. I AM NOT READY! Our oldest is in her last year at the University and we dropped off our youngest there a few hours ago. He was so excited setting up his dorm room. Then could not wait to go and meet people. So confident. I am proud.
I dropped him off and drove home. I went up and looked in his room. It’s been his room for the past 17 years. I remember every paint job, every bed, every poster. Now it is full of ghosts and memories. How many times did I carry him up to bed? How many times did I bust him reading with a flash light? How many times did I step on a lego when I went in because he had a nightmare? I’d give anything to do it all again. I sat on his bed, looked at the awards on the walls, the bibs from his races, I remember each one. I am not worried about him or his solder sister. I know they will be fine. I just miss them.
So yeah, I am having a harder time than I though I would. Since 1995 I have been a Dad with kids to take care of. I know it will get easier. I know that this is what is supposed to happen. I know this is because I did my job as a parent. But it still sucks.