IT IS TIME TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT GUNS!

As often happens, I am out of the country at a gymnastics competition. I am surrounded by thousands of people from all over the world. When they see my USA Olympic Team Sweatshirt they ask me if I knew anyone in Las Vegas. If everyone I know is OK. Then they ask, when is your country going to do something about this.

I have no answer.

HEY GOP and CONGRESS – DO YOUR JOB! IT IS TIME TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT GUNS. YOU HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS.

After each mass shooting, which have become so common that a shooting that ONLY kills one or 2 people doesn’t event make the news, you send out your THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.  I am praying for YOUR SOULS. You have the ability to change this. It is impossible to stop every person with a gun but you can make it harder for people to get guns. You can make it harder for guns to have large clips. You can make it harder for a person to stockpile guns. You can make it harder for a person with mental illness to own a gun.  You can ask people to register their guns so that police know what they are up against when they go to a house. You can save lives.

White House press secretary Sarah Sanders said this is not the time  for political debate.We have 59 innocent people dead, it wasn’t their time either. Now IS the time for political debate.

President Trump is visiting Las Vegas today, he’s praying for those who lost their lives. In February, he also signed a bill that made it easier for people with severe mental illness to buy guns legally. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, a number of other lawmakers who won’t do anything about this because the NRA has their balls in a money clip, also sent their thoughts and their prayers today, which is good. They should be praying. They should be praying for God to forgive them for letting the gun lobby run this country.

There are loopholes in the law that let people avoid background checks if they buy a gun privately from another party, if they buy a gun online or at a gun show.

Ninety percent of registered Democrats  and 77 percent of  registered Republicans support background checks at gun shows. Eighty-nine percent of Democrats and Republicans are in favor of restricting gun ownership for the mentally ill. But not the GOP in Congress. They voted against both of those things. With all due respect, your thoughts and your prayers are insufficient.

The House of Representatives is voting on a piece of legislation this week to legalize the sale of silencers for guns! I guess mass shooting have gotten too loud. ,

Now IS the time to talk about gun laws. When someone with a beard attacks us, we tap phones, we invoke travel bans, we build walls, we take every possible precaution to make sure it doesn’t happen again.  When a plane crashes you look at safety measures to protect passengers. When a hotel catches fire you scream for better sprinklers, more safety precautions. But when an American buys a gun and kills other Americans, then there’s nothing we can do about that.

You have their blood on your hands. You had the ability to make this more difficult and you did nothing. My thoughts and prayers go out to YOU. I hope the faces of all the innocent lives you could have saved haunt your dreams.

Since the assassination attempt on a Democratic congresswoman in Arizona at the start of 2011, there have been 18 mass shootings in this country that captured national headlines.

1/8/2011 – Jared Lee Loughner, 22, killed 6 and wounded 11 others in Tucson, Ariz.

Loughner’s motive was an attempt to assassinate Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona at a meet-and-greet she was holding.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

10/12/2011 – Scott Dekraai, 41, killed 8 people and wounded 1 other in Seal Beach, Calif.

Dekraai was upset over a custody dispute and decided to exact vengeance by going on a shooting rampage at the hair salon where his former wife worked.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

4/2/2012 – One L. Goh, 43, killed 7 people and wounded 1 other in Oakland, Calif.

Goh opened fire in a classroom at Oikos University, a small Christian college.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

7/20/2012 – James Holmes, 24, killed 12 people and wounded 58 others in Aurora, Colo.

Holmes entered a movie theater playing “The Dark Knight Rises” roughly half an hour after the screening had commenced and opened fire.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

8/5/2012 – Wade Michael Page, 40, killed 6 people and injured 3 others at a Sikh Temple in Oak Creek, Wisc.

Page was an Army veteran and “psychological operations specialist” who opened fire in a Sikh Temple as part of his white supremacist agenda.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

9/28/2012 – Andrew Engeldinger, 36, killed 6 people and injured 2 others in Minneapolis, Minn.

Engeldinger opened fire at the offices of Accent Signage Systems and began shooting after having been fired from his job there.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

10/21/2012 – Radcliffe Haughton, 45, killed 3 people and injured 4 others in Brookfield, Wis.

The former Marine opened fire at the Azana Salon and Spa, where his estranged wife was employed.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

12/14/2012 – Adam Lanza, 20, killed 27 people and injured 1 other in Newtown, Conn.

The shooter murdered 20 first-graders and 6 adults during his infamous rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

President Barack Obama called for stricter federal gun control laws after the incident, but no new federal gun laws were passed.

9/16/2013 – Aaron Alexis, 34, killed 12 people and injured 3 others in Washington, D.C.

Alexis was a Navy contractor and former Navy enlisted man whose extensive disciplinary record did not thwart him when he tried to purchase a rifle. He later shot up the Washington Navy Yard.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

4/2/2014 – Ivan Lopez, 34, killed 3 people and injured 16 others in Fort Hood, Texas.

Lopez, like Alexis, had a problematic past in his military background and engaged in a shooting at Fort Hood after a request for time off was denied.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

5/23/2014 – Elliot Rodger, 22, killed 6 people and wounded 7 others in Isla Vista, Calif.

Rodger went on a rampage near the campus of University of California, Santa Barbara after complaining about girls not dating him.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

6/18/2015 – Dylann Roof, 21, killed 9 people in Charleston, SC

Roof was motivated by a white supremacist ideology to open fire in a predominantly African-American church in Charleston, S.C.

The FBI later admitted that Roof should not have been allowed to buy a gun, but he slipped through the cracks.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

7/16/2015 – Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez, 24, killed 5 people and wounded 3 others in Chattanooga, Tenn.

Abdulazeez shot up both a military recruiting center and a Navy-Marine training facility before being killed by law enforcement officials.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

10/1/2015 – Christopher Sean Harper-Mercer, 26, killed 9 people and injured 9 others in Roseburg, Ore.

Christopher Sean Harper-Mercer was described by law enforcement as someone with white supremacist and anti-religion opinions and speculated that these views motivated him to shoot up Umpqua Community College.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

11/29/2015 – Robert Lewis Dear, 57, killed 3 people and injured 9 others in Colorado Springs, Colo.

Dear opened fire in a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado, with his wife speculatingthat the religious Dear did so because of his opposition to abortion rights.

No new federal gun laws were passed.

12/2/2015 – Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik, 28 and 29, killed 14 people and wounded 22 others in San Bernardino, Calif.

Farook and Malik committed the shooting at the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino, making national headlines.

No new federal gun laws were passed, although Donald Trump (then still seeking the Republican presidential nomination) used the shooting as an opportunity to denounce political correctness.

6/12/2016 – Omar Mateen, 29, killed 49 people and injured 58 others in Orlando, Fla.

Mateen engaged in a mass shooting at a popular gay night club called Pulse. Until Sunday, this was the deadliest mass shooting in American history.

No new federal gun laws were passed, despite President Barack Obama urging Congress to either enact or renew laws that would ban the possession of assault-style weapons and high-capacity ammunition magazines. Mateen committed his attack with an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle.

10/1/2017 – Stephen Paddock, 64, killed at least 58 people and injured at least 515 others in Las Vegas, Nev.

It is unclear what type of weapon Paddock used during the mass shooting, although the sheriff said police found at least 10 rifles in his room. If it turns out that Paddock did use a semiautomatic weapon, however, it could raise concerns for legislation banning them.

sleep well.

Peace.

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‘Princess Bride’ Lines That Will Make You Believe In Love Again

Get ready to wail about the swift passage of time, because The Princess Brideis officially 30 years old. It’s safe to say that many have grown to love the pirates, sword fights, resurrection, and the quest for The Six-Fingered Man, considering how often your best friends still shout “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” However, despite all of the snarky quips and revenge quests, it’s ultimately a movie about love. Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright) and Westley (Cary Elwes) fight like hell for their love to survive, melting even the coldest viewer’s hearts in the process.

If you need help believing in love again, let these moments from The Princess Bride guide you.

“As you wish.” — Westley

As we all know, what he really meant was “I love you.” The love between Westley and Buttercup was the kind that sneaks up on you when you aren’t expecting it, but really Buttercup should have seen this coming. Farmboy or not, no one is that thrilled to shine your saddle unless they worship the ground you walk on. When Buttercup realizes who the Dread Pirate Roberts actually is as he shouts out this line later in the film while rolling down a hill into the Fire Swamp, she and the viewers are reminded that love is not so easily thrown aside.

“Is this a kissing book?” — The Grandson

Yes, Fred Savage, it is. But as most people will tell you, The Princess Bride is so much more than a kissing movie. Still, while listening to his Grandfather read him the story, the boy realizes that the kissing stuff isn’t all that bad.

“This is true love. You think this happens every day?” — Westley

Before being apparently lost at sea, Westley seems pretty certain that his love for Buttercup and her love for him will last forever. While they certainly had a few bumps along the way — evil princes, pirate kings, killer rodents, the usual stuff — this fairy tale had a happy ending. While the impediments to love may be a bit more mundane in the real world, they are still worth conquering.

“Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice M.L.T., a mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky. I love that.” — Miracle Max

While the main focus of The Princess Bride is on the young and beautiful lovers, there is also love of a harsher and more hilarious kind with Miracle Max (Billy Crystal) and Valerie (Carol Kane). These two have been performing miracles side by side for decades, and while they may bicker continuously, you can tell that they’re in it for the long haul. Honestly, if you’ve been married that long and still find them as appealing as your favorite sandwich, you’re probably in good shape.

There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” — Westley

While the serious declarations of love are all well and good, there’s something to be said about having fun with your significant other. Yeah yeah, you’ll love them until the end of time, but acknowledging the attributes that get you going is important too. Westley may have been a bit indisposed at the moment — coming back from the mostly dead has a bit of a recovery time — but Buttercup quickly picked up on what he was laying down.

“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv. ” — The Impressive Clergyman

The silly accent and the over-the-top sentiment are the perfect combination, making this an insanely quotable line, but the idea that you should “tweasure your wuv” is nothing to laugh at. Buttercup and Westley fought princes, shrieking eels, and death itself to prove how much they cherished each other, so you may want to take some notes while watching.

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” — Westley

Scoff at the idea that “true love conquers all” all you want, but love really is the greatest and scariest adventure that any of us can go on. It may not look like it does in the movies, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Hopefully, you won’t have to become a pirate, get trapped in quicksand, or agree to marry a homicidal maniac along the way.

Source: ‘Princess Bride’ Lines That Will Make You Believe In Love Again

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Come to New Hampshire This Fall

Why Go? Mountainous and woodsy, New Hampshire is blessed with vast parklands for experiencing fall foliage, on foot and behind the wheel. Balance city and forest with overnights in the hipster town of Portsmouth, driving to the many different hiking trails commencing a short hour or so away. Summit Mount Kearsage in Wilmot, or explore a portion of the 40-plus miles of trails in nearby Bear Brook State Park. If a full-day of leaf-peeping is more your speed, head north to the Kancamagus Highway, a highly scenic 34.5-mile stretch of Route 112 through the White Mountain National Forest, erupting with vibrant, changing leaves over multiple elevations.

Where to stay? Check into the cozy, inn-style Hotel Portsmouth, which screams Americana by design and is within walking distance to the town’s fabulous restaurants, old-school coffee shops, and craft breweries. Plus, there’s a great complimentary breakfast spread in the morning to get you revved up for your hikes.

Where to eat? Book ahead for dinner at Row 34 Portsmouth where you’ll feast on sublime, briny local oysters and the best lobster roll in all New England (Yes, you read correctly). For an innovative New England take on tapas, try Moxy by James Beard semifinalist Chef Matt Louis. Small plates like the caramelized ricotta with charred onion and corn chips and the marinated Maine Lobster over eggplant caponata are both delicious and conversation-worthy.

And there is always time t0 make your own apple cider and share it with friends

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Just When You Thought Graham And Cassidy Couldn’t Get More Cynical 

I believe that healthcare needs fixing. The best argument I have heard for single payer is that you do not hear anyone from a country with socialized medicine looking to get rid of it. The GOP wants you to believe it is about control. I am a business owner and I do not want someone coming in and telling me how much I can charge. But with medicine it is the insurance companies and HMO that decide how much to charge. This is all just so silly.

Right now the GOPs in congress are hypocrites at best.

The champions of new Republican legislation to repeal the Affordable Care Care keep talking about fairness.

They don’t mean fairness to people with pre-existing conditions, or fairness to people who can’t afford to pay for insurance without Obamacare’s help. Those two groups would suffer mightily under the bill, as multiple analyses have shown.

No, the Republicans mean fairness to states. And it is one of the most cynical arguments they’ve made yet.

The legislation, which GOP leaders hope to bring to a vote next week, would not simply cut overall federal spending on health care. It would redistribute money among the states ― taking billions of dollars away from California and Maryland, among others, while giving a significant, if temporary, boost to states like Mississippi and Texas.

The bill’s co-sponsors, Sens. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) and Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), have been quite open about creating new winners and losers among the states. They have said it’s only proper, because, as Cassidy said Monday, “Right now, 37 percent of the revenue from the Affordable Care Act goes to Americans in four states. That is frankly not fair.”

The funding imbalance is real. Under the Affordable Care Act, the federal government picks up most of the cost for states that expand their Medicaid programs. And that means states that have expanded Medicaid, like California and Maryland, end up getting a lot more federal money than those, like Mississippi and Texas, that haven’t.

But the divide between the states exists because GOP officials in some states have turned down federal money available to them, using discretion that would not exist if not for a lawsuit that was part of the right-wing legal assault on “Obamacare.”

In other words, the imbalance in state funding exists because a group of conservatives have done everything they can to avoid helping some of America’s neediest citizens get health insurance.

Now Graham and Cassidy are exploiting that situation to sell a plan that eventually would take insurance away from low-income people in every state ― even the ones Graham and Cassidy claim to be helping.

How Republicans created the Obamacare funding divide

Remember, the Affordable Care Act’s original concept was to have the government provide insurance to every non-elderly person who didn’t have access to employer coverage. Early on, Democrats decided the most efficient way to do that for people living below or just above the poverty line was to enroll them in Medicaid. That meant expanding the program, because in most states it covered only certain classes of poor people, typically with much lower incomes.

Medicaid is a joint federal-state program, and, legally speaking, the federal government can’t simply order states to do something. Instead, it has to use financial incentives, which is what the Affordable Care Act’s authors sought to do ― by making all Medicaid funding, including money for the parts of the program already in operation, conditional upon states opening the program to more people. Some conservatives groused that this was a form of extortion, and when right-wing legal activists, working with Republican officials, launched their infamous lawsuit challenging the individual mandate, they also made the case that the new Medicaid arrangement was unconstitutional.

Few legal observers took the claim seriously ― until the Supreme Court handed down its ruling and, in a decision upholding other parts of the law, struck down the Medicaid financing scheme. (Two Democratic appointees, Stephen Breyer and Elena Kagan, joined the five Republican appointees in that part of the ruling, although some speculated they had made an implicit deal to join the conservative justices on that point in order to keep a majority upholding other aspects of the law.) That made it much much easier for states to turn down money for the Medicaid expansion.

A group of Republicans and conservative activists turned state opposition to Medicaid expansion into a litmus test.

Even after the court ruling came out, the law’s supporters assumed all states would sign up ― if not right away, then within a few years, simply because the offer from Washington was such a financially advantageous one. The federal government would be providing nearly all the money for the new people who would become eligible, which meant states wouldn’t have to put up much of their own. Many studies suggested that states would ultimately get most or even all of the money back, partly because they wouldn’t have to pick up the indirect costs of charity care from hospitals. Also, the money would boost economic growth.

But the law’s critics, in and outside of the Republican Party, turned opposition into the Medicaid expansion into a litmus test for true conservatism. States with Democrats in control signed up quickly. In most (not all) states where Republicans had leverage over at least one branch of government, expansion became a huge fight ― sometimes pitting Republican governors willing to put aside their ideological predispositions in order to help their constituents, against their own legislatures and conservative activists.

Some of those Republican governors prevailed, which is why states like Michigan and Ohio now have expanded Medicaid programs ― and why those governors are among those who have spoken out most forcefully against Graham-Cassidy. But 19 states have held out, and predominantly they’re the most conservative states of the country.

As Jordan Weissman put it recently in Slate, ”Most red-state governors decided to treat health care policy like an Appalachian blood feud and refused the money the Obama administration all but begged them to take. … If Florida or Texas had decided to accept the big, gift-wrapped pile of dough Washington was offering, things wouldn’t look quite so imbalanced.”

The fight is still happening, by the way. In Kansas, it’s the Republican state legislature that wants the expansion and the Republican governor, Sam Brownback, who has blocked it. The legislature voted overwhelmingly to expand the program in April, but came up just three votes short of the supermajority it needed to override Brownback’s veto.

Graham-Cassidy funding for states is a shell game

Sure enough, Kansas is among the states looking at funding increases during the first six years of Graham-Cassidy. It would get an additional $2 billion, according to an analysis of the bill by Avalere Health. That’s 11 percent more than it stands to get now, with the Affordable Care Act in place. Other big winners include Texas, whose $35 billion windfall would mean a 14 percent increase, and Mississippi, whose $6 billion gain works out to a 13 percent increase.

Meanwhile, Maryland would lose $13 billion, leaving it with 16 percent less money that it stands to get now. And California? It would lose $78 billion, leaving it with 13 percent less in federal funding. Few states have tried as hard to make the Affordable Care Act work, or been so successful. The coverage losses there could be staggering.

As it happens, it’s not only traditionally Democratic states that end up losing out. Florida, which hasn’t expanded Medicaid, would nevertheless lose money because Graham-Cassidy also punishes states where enrollment in subsidized private plans has been high, and signups in Florida are among the highest in the nation.

Alaska, Arizona, Ohio and West Virginia also stand to lose money, because all of them expanded Medicaid. All four have Republican senators who have publicly wavered about reform, making them particularly important politically. This is why you are reading so much about negotiations with one of Alaska’s GOP senators, Lisa Murkowski, and proposals to throw a whole bunch of extra money at her state.

The irony is that every single state ― including Mississippi and Texas ― stands to lose money from Graham-Cassidy eventually. Partly that’s because the bill authorizes new health care spending only through 2026. The money vanishes after that. The other reason is that the bill introduces massive, permanent cuts to the traditional Medicaid program, creating an ever-growing gap between what the federal government is providing and what the states would need to maintain coverage levels. (Vox has an animated map, based on Avalere’s numbers, to show how this would happen over time.)

So even for Mississippi and Texas, Graham-Cassidy turns out to be a bad deal by the numbers. They just wouldn’t feel the pinch as quickly as some other states. That may help explain why the National Association of Medicaid Directors issued a strong letter on Thursday opposing Graham-Cassidy. The letter came from the group’s leadership, but the Washington Post’s Greg Sargent reports that multiple officials from traditionally Republican states were in favor of sending it.

Graham, Cassidy and their allies don’t advertise that they are cutting Medicaid or that the cuts will eventually touch even those places they keep promising to help. But, of course, that shouldn’t be surprising. From day one, they have sold their effort as a more sensible version of repeal, one that will make health care more accessible and not less, when the very opposite is true.

Source: Just When You Thought Graham And Cassidy Couldn’t Get More Cynical | HuffPost

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Worst Songs to Play at a Wedding

I’ve been doing stand up comedy for a while. I am not great, but I enjoy it. Yesterday I was trying to write some jokes from some previous notes. I had music on and  the U2 song “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” came on and my brain lit up- This would be a terrible song to play at a wedding! It made me think of what other songs have been played at weddings that were equally terrible. Maybe songs that had a nice rhythm and no one listened to the lyrics or a song where the lyrics were misunderstood.

In no particular

Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) – Journey
The only thing sadder than the death of a love affair which once held infinite promise is probably Journey lead singer Steve Perry’s rock mullet which can be seen in the original video version here. Technically I believe it falls under the trashmullet classification.

Sample Lyric:
”Troubled times
Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain, vain, vain”

Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division
Songs have credited love with many things over the years, but never tearing anybody apart. Joy Division’s seminal classic seems to bemoan the death of a relationship due to a couple’s priorities changing – rather than any actual physical dismemberment.

Sample Lyric:
”When routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions wont grow”

Little Known Fact:
Joy Division were an influential and critically praised band, but didn’t sell many records. Released in April, 1980 this song didn’t chart. A month later, depressed over poor health and a broken marriage, lead singer Ian Curtis hanged himself. The single was re-released in June and became their first and only hit.

I Don’t Love Anyone – Belle and Sebastian
If you don’t love anyone (except “maybe my sister” as the song states), then what the heck are you doing getting married in the first place? And maybe don’t move to Iran anytime soon. Repeated spins of this song are sure to induce serious second-thoughts in one or both members of the happy couple.

Sample Lyric:
”I don’t love anyone
You’re not listening
You’re playing with something
You’re playing with yourself”

A Man Needs A Maid – Neil Young

Thankfully, modern gender roles are no longer as strongly defined as they once were. That having been said, brides who hear their new husbands request this song during the reception may have a few choice words for him during the limo ride to the airport.

Sample Lyric:
”I was thinking that maybe I’d get a maid
Find a place nearby for her to stay.
Just someone to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.”

A Quick One, While He’s Away – The Who

The plot of the story is simple. A girl is sad that her boyfriend is away. Her friends suggest that she take a substitute lover, Ivor The Engine Driver. When the boyfriend returns, she confesses her infidelity and is forgiven. Repeated listens might discourage the groom from going on long business trips for the first couple years.

Sample Lyric:
”I missed you and I must admit
I kissed a few and once did sit
On Ivor the Engine Driver’s lap
And later with him, had a nap”

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart – Wilco

“Don’t sugar coat it, Wilco.” Anti-romantic statements don’t get clearer than the title of this ditty. Will they release a follow up entitled “I am Going to Cheat on You With your Best Friend”? While you’re wondering, pick something else for the reception playlist.

Sample Lyric:
”I’d always thought that if I held you tightly
You’d always love me like you did back then
Then I fell asleep and the city kept blinking
What was I thinking when I let you back in?”

Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley
This classic tune paints the picture of a relationship so severely damaged by mistrust (and probably infidelity) that the couple involved probably won’t make it. Not the sort of optimistic ode you want to hear on your first day of marriage. It’s perfectly acceptable in Nevada, however, to have Elvis pronounce you man and wife.

Sample Lyric:
”If an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see
Suspicion in your eyes?”

never really been an Elvis fan. Enjoy the FYC version.

Gold Digger – Kanye West
For all its talk of gold digging, prenuptual agreements and misspent alimony money – this song is still very popular on dance floors across the nation. Be careful and don’t let it slip under the radar at your wedding. The results could be… expensive.

Sample Lyric:
”18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma’s car and crib is bigger than his.”

I Hate Everything About You – Ugly Kid Joe
Forget the fact that the title alone would qualify it for our list, but the protagonist of this frankly awful song is not someone you want to walk down the aisle with. Especially, apparently, if you have a younger sister. Fostering good relationships with your bride’s family is a good idea – but this is ridiculous.

Sample Lyric:
”I don’t really care about you’re sister,
Fuck the little bitch ’cause I already kissed her,
One thing that I did to your old lady,
Was I put her on the bed and she didn’t say maybe.”

All my Exes Live in Texas – George Strait
We’re just hypothesizing here, but if you have so many exes that it drives you out of the largest state in the union, you might have a few bad dating habits. No one likes to be reminded of their significant other’s prior love interests and this song might just dredge up a few bad memories if played on your wedding day.

Sample Lyric:
”All my exes live in Texas,
And Texas is a place I’d dearly love to be.
But all my exes live in Texas
And that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee.”

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now – The Smiths
Miserable now? Morrissey – you’re always miserable. Similar to the next selection in our list, the title of this song alone makes it a poor choice for anyone’s marital celebrations. Upon close examination of the lyrics the extremely depressed protagonist of this song sounds like a victim of “beer goggles”. Perhaps this 1984 tune is a more appropriate soundtrack for the eventual bad decisions made by single members of the wedding party.

Sample Lyric:
”I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I’m miserable now.”

Little Known Fact:
This ultra-gloomy song by one of Manchester England’s finest was actually named as one of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s “500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll”.

It’s the End of the World as we Know it – REM
Unless considered a plea for more personal space, this song has little lyrical content that might be interpreted as unlucky on a wedding day. The title alone, however, might drive a wedge between a new couple. We would definitely advise against dedicating it to your new life partner, regardless of how much they may love Michael Stipe.

Sample Lyric:
“It’s time I had some time alone.
It’s time I had some time alone.”

Little Known Fact:
Part of the lyrics came to lead singer Michael Stipe in a dream. He dreamt he was at a birthday party, and everyone had the initials L.B. except him. This is evident when he talks about Lester Bangs, Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce, and Leonard Bernstein.

Another One Bites the Dust – Queen
Domestic violence is a tragedy that has marred more than a few once wonderful marriages. Inviting your brand new spouse to take a swing at you is a conversation best saved for a much later date and after you’ve given her a darn good reason. Wait at least a week.

Sample Lyric:
“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him, You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him when he’s down
But I’m ready, yes I’m ready for you”

50 Ways to Leave your Lover – Paul Simon
On your wedding day you can plan on receiving all kinds of advice from friends and family. How to resolve arguments, balance joint finances and raise children may all be among the gems that you hear. How to break up with the lover you’re currently having an affair with, however, is luckily much less commonplace.

Sample Lyric:
“She said why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover.”

Little Known Fact:
While Paul may elude to 50 ways, he only actually mentions 5 – Slip out the back, make a new plan, set yourself free, hop on the bus and drop off the key. What a ripoff, Mr. Simon!

Run for Your Life – The Beatles
Unless your beloved betrothen goes by the name of Charles Manson, playing this song at your wedding might seem just a tad inappropriate to most brides. “Helter Skelter” is a much more tasteful choice.

Sample Lyric:
“Well I’d rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or I won’t know where I am”

Better Man – Pearl Jam
She dated the starting quarterback on your high school team and also allegedly had relations with at least one of her brilliant college professors. But when all those other guys failed to work out – she finally settled for you, Mr. Groom. Doesn’t that make you feel special? Of course not. Don’t play it.

Sample Lyric:
“Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along…
Swears she knew it, now she swears he’s gone.”

Little Known Fact:
This is about a woman who settles for the man she has because she doesn’t think she can do any better. Vedder had his stepfather in mind when he wrote it and at some concerts has dedicated it to “The bastard who married my mother.”

Love Stinks – J. Geils Band
The first verse of this song paints a picture of a sordid love triangle. Maybe even a love hexagon. Unless you’re getting married in Utah it’s not going to be very romantic or inspirational to a new couple and should be avoided at all costs on the big day.

Sample Lyric:
“You love her but she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can’t win
And so it goest ill the day you die
This thing they call love it’s gonna make you cry .”

Little Known Fact:
Lead singer Peter Wolf’s roomate at a Boston Art college was none other than the famously dark filmmaker, David Lynch. That certainly explains a lot.

If you Wanna be Happy – Jimmy Soul
At many weddings we’ve been to over the years, Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight” is often played in tribute to the bride. Slip this little number on the turntable during the first dance instead and after her father gets through with ya – you’ll feel like you’ve been worked over by a few of Frank’s shadier pallies.

Sample Lyric:
“Don’t let your friends tell you you have no taste
go ahead and marry anyway
Her face is ugly her eyes don’t match
take it from me shes a better catch.”

Used to Love Her (But I Had to Kill Her) – G N’ R
When all other options have been exhausted, the final straw in a troubled relationship should be two people parting ways – politely or otherwise. Guns n’ Roses suggested a second alternative back in 1988 which would have likely seen your next love affair taking place in the shower room of a state prison.
Sample Lyric:
“I used to love her
But i had to kill her
I had to put her six feet under
And i can still hear her complain .”

Little Known Fact:
Axl Rose wrote the lyrics as a joke and it was rumored that the song is about his dog which he had to have put to sleep and then buried in his backyard. Unfortunately, we expect most of his fan-base weren’t privvy to this info, and we hope none took it to heart.

Every Breath You Take – Police

Unless you’re marrying your creepy stalker, this is not a romantic song! Many people apparently take the song’s “every breath you take / every move you make / I’ll be watching you” lyrics as a lover’s vow, but Sting says he had more sinister things in mind — for example, governments spying on their citizens. “I think the song is very, very sinister and ugly,” he told BBC Radio.

 

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston (It’s about a break up. Please, no talk of “bittersweet memories” at your wedding.)

Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton (Yet another death song I’ve heard at too many weddings. I know there’s the life insurance policy, but it’s a little too early to be talking about death, don’t you think?

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor. Not only have I heard this at a million weddings, but I’ve also seen it on lists of “popular wedding songs!” People, it’s a song about surviving a horrible breakup! Don’t play this at your wedding.

Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield Go ahead. Fuel rumors that the bride is sleeping/has slept/will sleep with the Best Man.

Closer –  by NIN. This is a no-brainer. Unless you are having a Magic Mike XXL-themed wedding, in which case, CARRY ON, and may I please attend because you are my hero

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Sessions’ LIES.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced that, in six months, the Trump administration will terminate DACA, the Obama-era program that allows young undocumented people brought to the United States as children to live and work here legally. He slandered DACA’s nearly 800,000 recipients in nativist language with barely concealed racist undertones.

More importantly he lied.

First: Sessions claimed that DACA “contributed to a surge of unaccompanied minors on the southern border.” This allegation, often touted by far-right xenophobes, is false. A study published in International Migration, a peer-reviewed academic journal, found that the surge in unaccompanied minors actually began in 2008. (DACA was announced in 2012.) The authors pointed to a host of factors contributing to this phenomenon, including escalating gang violence in Central America, as well as drug cartels’ willingness to target and recruit children in Mexico. But the study found that DACA was not one of these factors. Its authors concluded that “the claim that DACA is responsible for the increase in the flow of unaccompanied alien children is not supported by the data.”

Even without the study, it should be obvious that DACA played no role in this surge of unaccompanied minors because the theory itself makes no sense. Undocumented children who arrived in the United States following DACA’s implementation would not qualify for the program. Only those individuals who “have continuously resided in the United States since June 15, 2007” and “were physically present in the United States on June 15, 2012” could receive DACA status. Why would parents send their children to the U.S. to participate in a program in which they are not legally permitted to participate?

 

Second: Sessions alleged that DACA has “denied jobs to hundreds of thousands of Americans by allowing those same jobs to go to illegal aliens.” This line is obviously drawn from the false narrative that immigrants steal jobs from American citizens. There is no actual evidence that DACA recipients have taken jobs from any Americans, let alone “hundreds of thousands.” There is, however, strong evidence that killing DACA will significantly damage the economy—a fact that Sessions conveniently omitted from his speech.

Once DACA is fully rescinded, its former recipients will lose their work permits (and thus their jobs) and face possible deportation. According to the left-leaning Center for American Progress, about 30,000 people will lose their jobs each month as their DACA status expires. The loss of these workers could reduce the national GDP by $280 billion to $433 billion over the next decade. According to estimates by the libertarian Cato Institute, DACA’s demise will cost employers $2 billion and the federal government $60 billion. Trump’s decision to end DACA isn’t a job-saver; it’s a job-killer.

Toward the end of his speech, Sessions praised the RAISE Act, a Republican-backed bill that would tightly curtail immigration into the U.S. Sessions claimed the act would “produce enormous benefits for our country.” In reality, the measure marks an effort to return America to an older immigration regime that locked out racial and ethnic minorities. Sessions has praised the 1924 law that created this regime—a law whose chief author declared that his act was meant to end “indiscriminate acceptance of all races.”  Sessions revived this principle in slightly more polite language.

The attorney general’s utterly gratuitous defamation of young Latino immigrants tells you everything you need to know about the decision to kill DACA. Before Tuesday, the Trump administration seemed eager to frame its DACA decision as respect for constitutional separation of powers: Congress, it insisted, not the president, must set immigration policy. But after Sessions’ speech, it is difficult to view this move as anything other than an attempt to implement the white nationalism that Trump and Sessions campaigned on.

You may or may not agree with DACA and how it was implemented through executive order. Please just make a legitimate argument against it. No more lies.

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Things I Love about September

Daily Candy Editorial - Spring Books

First bonfires of the season. Most of my neighbors will have a fire of some sort. Some are just cleaning up and have a burn fire. Others are created with the purpose of bringing us together.

You get the fall color without having to rake any leaves. I love to see the colors change. I hate raking.  Watching the leaves change on the trees, going apple picking, and unpredictable temperatures all begin in the wonderful month of September. Each day of the month has the potential be a different temperature outside, and that unpredictability of September allows us to wear a plethora of outfits- often in the same day! For example- It was 47 F when I left my house this morning. It will be 80 F by this afternoon and tonight will be back in the high 40’s/ low 50’s.

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Tangy chill cuts the summer heat but doesn’t actually make the air cold. Cool mornings and evening and warm days! Great for Sleeping and Hikes.  Awesome for practices in the gym!

FOOTBALL SEASON- Whether you are a fan of college ball or an NFL nut like my wife All fanatics await the month of September because it is finally time to start repping your team jerseys, grabbing a hot dog, and to going to the stadium to support your team.

Octoberfest beers are rolled out. 

Excuse to buy yourself back to school outfits. Even if you’re not in school!

Touring bands get back to playing shows that aren’t gargantuan festivals. I love live shows but I am on the wrong side of 50 to go to a music festival without feeling a little creepy.

You can stop coating yourself in a rubbery layer of sunblock every day, and you can let your beach bod go.

Grocery store shelves are moved so the forklifts can roll in with small mountains of Halloween candy.

Rolled-up car windows mean fewer people hear you singing along to “Still Breathing”

It’s time to unpack the sweaters.

New Beginnings- September allows everyone to shed their summer skin, and maybe some summer sins, and begin setting new goals for the last few months of the year. With January creeping around the corner, September is the best month to remember, and scurry to complete, those New Year’s resolutions.

You can bike somewhere without arriving soaked in sweat.

The BEST month to waterski/ wakeboard- The water is still warm from the summer months. There are days where you will be the ONLY boat on the water and the lake is like glass. You are in good shape from a summer of skiing.

Cider. Just bought a Cider Press. I will be making my own Apple Cider this weekend and then plan on having the neighbors over to a bonfire.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19.

Proximity of holidays where my kids will be home becomes palpable.

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