Some thoughts on LIFE and DEATH

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueller.

April is a weird month for me. It is the month that my mother-in law passed away. It is the month that the fiancee of one of my best friends passed away.  Maybe it is my age, maybe it is just a reflection of what is happening around me But, I’ve been wondering, how can you die if you have never really lived? Never really experienced the world around you?

I have a friend who used to be so happy and full of energy. Where there was once this positive force, there is only sadness. I want to try to reach out and help, but I do not know how.

When a friend is in crisis consider it as a moral and ethical responsibility to at least try to help. It is a a sense of duty to help them heal  and move forward.  Sometimes it is delivering the tough message. The one others have been dancing around. Sometimes it is just a note to let them know I’ve got their back. Sometimes its a kick in the ass.

I want to remind the world out there that sometimes your own personal rain cloud can kill you like lightening. To paraphrase from LOU HOLTZ, It’s not the weight that breaks you, It’s the way you carry it. 

It’s NEVER too late to change your life. If you were to die today what would people say about you? What would you be remembered for?

All I want to know is that I made a difference. That I had an impact on those around me. Like everyone, when I was young, I wanted to change the world. Now as I look back I realize that the word can be changed by just making a difference. By making someone smile. By offering someone a hand. The life we lead in interconnected with everything around us. Start small. Dream BIG.

My profession is a gymnastics coach. What made me successful is that I cared. I cared about each individual I coached. I cared about each individual I worked with. At times I got burned. I was giving my heart and soul into a training plan. I was giving 100% to try to make a gymnasts successful. I was once asked, “Why do you care so much when they don’t?”  It is just my nature.

No one lives a perfect life. You have obstacles, you swerve, you dodge, you fall. Life can only go in one direction. So you get up, make the best of it, and carry on.

You must ALWAYS have dreams and you must work for them. So many people start with dreams and goals and then bail on them. It is all about the follow through. Listening to that inner voice that knows is giving you advice. Not being distracted by shiny objects.

I am always afraid of disappointing people. I never want to let anyone down. The kids I coach, Their parents, my co-workers and most of all my friends and family. I want them (you) to know that I’ve got your back.

I try to be strong for everyone. To be their ROCK of stability. But then I need to remind myself to not suppress my emotions. Feeling sad, disappointment and even pain are emotions. You need to FEEL in order to feel alive.

As you go through life you realize that everyone has something to hide. Maybe not something big, but something that they would rather forget. Let them be.

I remember in 2nd or 3rd grade we went around the room and said what we wanted to be when we grew up. I wish my answer was more profound. I think I said, “writer”. But that is not important. At what age do we stop believing in ourselves? When do we stop believing in others? and why?

Well- you knew that was going to happen.

The way I look at it, you must continue to dream. You must continue to believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in your self- how will anyone else?

I know at times it is hard to be heard in the world. There is just so much NOISE. Social media, mass media, text, e-mail. You fight so hard to be heard that you forget how to listen. REALLY listen. (and that means listening to your inner voice as well).

There are some people who just sit around waiting for the next stage of their life to begin. You need to make it happen. You cannot be a passenger in this life. You must be in the drivers seat. Take control. Obstacles will come up. You will need to swerve and make adjustments. Don’t just sit in the passenger seat of life. Make It Happen.

I am delightfully middle aged and I think about the things I may leave undone in my life. No one likes to think about it, but you could be struck by lightening in this very next instant. What will you leave undone? I am not talking your bucket list. I mean things that REALLY matter. A life without meaning, without focus and drive isn’t much of a life at all. A life without goals and dreams isn’t worth living. An idea with out the courage to act is meaningless.

Take these goals and dreams. Give them meaning. Give yourself time to focus and give your self the drive to accomplish them.

That is life.

Life does come at you pretty fast. It hits you and tries to escape and be expressed anyway possible. In a way, It’s a lot like getting struck by lightening.

and oh the wonder
We felt the lightning
and we waited on the thunder

I woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off? I sat and wondered
Started homing a song form 1962
Ain’t it funny how the night moves

And Just when you didn’t seem to have that much to lose
Strange how the night moves.